School Shootings

Today, I got a text message from my mom. "Scary time to be a teacher. Love you"

Being the way uninformed history teacher I currently am, I had to ask her what was going on.

She directed me to the news, where my CNN app alerted me to not one but 2 teacher deaths at the hands of students. In two different states. In two days. 

While you, by all means, can and should go read about the incidents, I want to reflect on my own personal feelings. This post is really an emotional outlet for me right now, so feel free to just stop reading if you're hoping for anything lighthearted or well constructed. I promise to not be offended. 

When I read both articles, I first thought about how horrible it is for the family of the teachers who lost their life. Never did I ever think that I was entering a profession where my life was in jeapordy. Despite Columbine and Virginia Tech, school is a safe place to me. The family members of slain teachers probably felt the same way. Until this week. 

My next thought, was how do you expect a math class to move on when their teacher was murdered? In the land of high stakes testing, those kids are being dealt a tragic hand. I only hope they are able to heal their hearts, because only then will the begin to grasp the concepts the state says they have to have. It also occurred to me that we must live in a bizarre world when my thought was not, "how do these kids ever feel safe?" 

I then reflected on my own day. Today, in 1st block, I fussed at my freshmen for not listening. I fussed again at them for talking to much. In 2nd block, I marked 4 tardy for standing in the doorway. I gave them a harshly phrased talking to about how I'm tired of warning them about being in their seats when the bell rings. In 4th block, I fussed at a student for looking at his phone, and then for lying about it. All in front of his peers. After school, a student came to me in tears, upset about what a classmate had said about her. That one I hope I handled well, and then sent it down to guidance also. I will not have a child be called stupid and not have guidance aware that she's being bullied. 

Suffice it to say, today has not been my finest teaching day. Any one of my students could have left today feeling angry and upset. Do I think that they're angry enough to bring a gun to school? No. Do I think for a second anyone thought these young men would? No. 

So you know what my last thought was? I want to hug each and every single one of my kids tomorrow. Even if they are high schoolers. Even if they are big, burly, teenage boys. I want all of them to know that I value them. I fight for them. I want them to succeed. 

I want them to know that I love them. And I will tell them tomorrow. 

If you're still reading, thank you. I love you for that, even if you're a stranger. Change a life tomorrow, even if it's just by smiling.